"Vulfie," for short.
Many folks clamor to treat animation the same as "real movies." This holds up best with Pixar's work; their dedication to story and character is unrivaled. "Beowulf" was supposed to kick off the same possibilities for pure CGI. Since the studios bet on a violent classic, audiences got an almost-live-action-cartoon. Presumably this would capitalize off that great overlap in moviegoer demographics: 11 year old boys and Comp. Lit. students.
Actually, they were banking off the success of that lousy almost-live-action-cartoon, "300." This story has survived for a long time because it is thrilling and creepy and classic (in every sense); it is of a piece with any mythological tale you can recall. In practice, it was fairly easy to ignore because the emotional content matched the average episode of "GI Joe."
The effects work was amazing - I can understand Angelina Jolie's slight embarrassment, 'cause it looks like her body was directly scanned into a computer. But some nice post-modern writing (thanks for doing what you could, Neil Gaiman) can't give this experience enough depth or emotion.
Screw Rosario Dawson on a prep station? Disgusting! You do it up against the fridge...
A little good, but mostly bad. I think my radar is pretty keen at detecting intended awfulness. Sadly, I don't think that's what Kevin Smith was aiming for - at least, not for the overall film.
The dance sequence stands out as a particularly ill-conceived part of the picture. I may have a seizure the next time I see a guy tweak his nipples because that's supposed to be funny. And, for my money, I didn't like the early salvo which has our three leads discussing the do's and don'ts of a certain unusual sex act.
Other parts of Smith's humor worked as usual. Setting the story at a fast-food joint from "Dogma" was excellent - but I loved the satire behind "Mooby the Cow." The call-back jokes were generally good, and I was not too annoyed/distracted by the way that this sequel adhered to the form of the original "Clerks." And yet...