The Guest Review - He's the Guestiest

The Guest is not a complicated movie, but this is not a problem. In fact, it's a fine throwback to simpler times. Do you remember House of the Devil? Yeah, the same way that HotD felt like a thrilling and moderately-successful supernatural 80's horror film, so too does The Guest feel like a thriller/slasher from 30 years ago.

David is a guy who we first see run down a road with a pack on his back. By the time he meets the Petersons - the family at the heart of this story - everything is made clear, either overtly or indirectly: the mother and father are sleepwalking in the wake of their oldest son's death in military service. Their two surviving children are obsessed with their own teenage problems, while the parents just blankly, mutely coast through the wake of the tragedy. In pops David (Dan Stevens), who was part of their son's squad - David says he's fresh out of hospital, and is following through on a promise to check in with, comfort, and look after his pal's family before he moves on.

The problem is that no one is ready to move on at all. Mom (Sheila Kelley) is a distracted mess of a person who just keeps things moving without actually fixing or even addressing much of anything. Dad (Leland Orser, brilliantly-disguised by a pornstache) is too busy worrying about his insecurities - especially ones related to his wife's happiness - to do much of anything, either.

But David is pleasant company - mom has a connection to her dead boy, and dad has an adult male to talk to, so both parents keep inviting David to stick around. Meanwhile, their daughter is dating a local drug dealer/musician, and their youngest son is getting his ass kicked by bullies every day. As the parents push David into their children's lives, their guest learns a lot of secrets about each kid. This newest addition seems like he might help heal the Petersons' wounds, but the atmosphere of the film makes one thing clear: there's a chill of doom every time David gets more involved with his hosts.

I wanted to see this movie the second I learned it was the sophomore effort of Adam Wingard (director/editor) and Simon Barrett (writer), the guys who made You're Next. I have to know what these guys get up to, just like the sheer quality of the writing and execution in The Babadook ensures that I'll catch Jennifer Kent's next feature. Although I don't regret missing tG when it came out in September (I was very, very busy), I'm quite happy I went out of my way to watch it as part of my big 2014 review-athon.

You're Next Review

When I first heard about You're Next, I felt pretty excited. It got very strong reviews - which I only skimmed, so as to not spoil anything - the kind of critical praise that made me want to catch it in the theater. Unfortunately, I had a very busy schedule at the time, and wasn't able to see it. I crossed my fingers, hoping that it would become available on Netflix's streaming service.

Well, a few weekends ago, I got my wish - and it was so much more than I could have hoped for. Not only was this a well-made film, it was so grisly and scary that I locked by bedroom door and left a baseball bat beside my bed. No joke, this is a home invasion-type horror film that is genuinely terrifying. If you're sensitive to stories about people getting attacked in their own houses - do not watch this movie.

We open with a scene straight out of an 80's picture. Two people enjoy each other's company, have a little sex... and then their lives start getting pretty damn weird. The cold open neatly dovetails into a slightly different scenario with no clear connection to the movie's beginning: a couple in their early 50's taking a drive to their home in the countryside. From there, it's pretty easy to start to figure out that we're looking at a long-overdue family gathering.

I Know What You Did Last Summer Review

There are all sorts of subtleties when you've seen movies you call "bad." Sometimes you expected it to stink, while sometimes you're surprised it did. Some films are bad from the start, or throughout, or turn so near the end. Certain pictures fail multiple aspects of basic filmmaking, while others are competent but bland, and others still just have one fatal flaw.

Especially in the wake of Scream (god, I loved that movie), there was a strong run on studio-backed, teen-targeted slasher films. ABC, CBS, and NBC shows are usually about 20-some things or older, and the "new" networks, like Fox and The WB (later CW) got big numbers with primetime teen shows. That's why we got Nick Stahl and Katie Holmes in Disturbing Behavior, or Rebecca Gayheart and Tara Reid in Urban Legend. I Know What You Did Last Summer just happened to be the biggest disappointment.

Director Jim Gillespie's 1997 slasher/thriller actually had a lot of things going for it, hence my reaction. It was based on a 1970s novel, so it already had a publishable story outline to play with. The $17 Million budget was just fine, considering that the action-packed Aliens made do with $30-40 Mil 10 years earlier.

Was the cast stacked with the day's teen heartthrobs? Yes, but it was probably a best possible outcome situation. Hewitt can give respectable performances. I've seen three films with Prinz Jr., and he did just fine in those. Gellar can be quite solid, and Phillippe is considered a good actor by most everyone.

Enough Already, Texas Chainsaw Massacre

I still remember the first time I saw The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I was already experienced with horror films by then, having seen many Friday the 13th films, Peter Jackson splatter pics, and even several Dario Argento movies. A film student girlfriend suggested we watch this seminal pic, and I agreed.

And holy s--t, 1974's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a seriously-disturbing movie.

Nothing about the antagonist's actions make sense; it's not even as clear as "you laughed at them, now they want you dead" - you have a handful of total psychos, and you don't know when their freakness will come out swinging. It's an utterly unexplained situation, which makes it all the scarier; like all stark survival experiences, motive means nothing. I'm at least partly unsettled because I know the bad guys were based a bit on Ed Gein, the serial killer who used his victims bones and flesh for household arts and crafts projects...

MRQ IX: the "Friday the 13th" series

This is a special round of Movie Review Quickies. This time out, I tackle the entire original Friday the 13th series, Parts I-X. I know it's ambitious, but I give you my thoughts on the series as a whole, its progression, and the quality of each chapter.

I'd keep this in my back pocket for October, but that's cheap and a long time off. You should definitely read on if you're thinking of renting any of these, or if you want the opinion of an expert in this genre and time period.

I know, I know, even this effort is kind of scary! It clocks in at over 5900 words, so I doubt many people will (or should?) read this in one long run. I'll make it easier for you, ok? Anytime I'm overwhelming you with my sheer incredibleness, you can just count to 10 with me, ok? Give it a try : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Let's do this.

1 - Friday the 13th - Seven young people look to re-open a camp site in Crystal Lake, New York. The locals, of course, say the grounds are cursed. After all, a young boy drowned one summer just before two counselors were killed... But these stories are discounted and the kids get about their jobs, not knowing how much trouble they're in.

Movie Review Quickies, VIII

Action films and sequelitis make up most of the entries for MRQ VIII. Then again, most of the entries here received wildly-off scores from Rotten Tomatoes and/or Metacritic. This time out, I cover: Dick Tracy, Spy Kids 2, Scream 2, The Golden Child, Live Free or Die Hard, Judge Dredd, and Finding Forrester.

PS - the jump links will be fixed momentarily. Just scroll down like a normal person.
PPS - It's fixed now; there was no way to avoid the problem before I published this post, and it's hard to fix these things when you like to actually do your job when you're at your job. Click or scroll as you wish!

Dick Tracy

How do you review a vanity project with lots of A-list stars, media attention that approaches that for Tim Burton's "Batman," and a franchise property as big as Superman or Mickey Mouse? You can do it in a lot of words, and many did... But "Dick Tracy" was no fun, so I'll do it in just a few.

Warren Beatty plays the famous serial detective - a straight-laced, savvy do-gooder named Richard Tracy. He's a good cop in a crooked town full of vivid noir-esque characters. Many of the villains, for some reason, look like mutants. Yet Dick's faithful friends, and his wrist-watch communicator, will help him out as he's heading into a big fight with one ugly mobster (Al Pacino); he's also on a collision course with two beautiful women (Madonna, Glenne Headly).

Movie Review Quickies, Part V

This time around, I'm sticking to movies made in my lifetime. The NYC weather was sorta schizo for the last seven weeks, and Winter's coming. It makes sense to take comfort from movies I know pretty well... Along with some format changes (trailers are now at the end), I give you a little selection of short, long, and mid-sized reviews that cover Signs, Last Man Standing, Eraser, Single White Female, In & Out, Johnny Dangerously, and Starship Troopers.

Signs
In the end, I think audiences felt let down that Signs wasn't a gutsy and shocking creature feature; or maybe they hated a quiet alien invasion where the heroes only save their two kids. Somehow, Signs is a controversial movie; I guess everyone agrees that it looks good, but director M. Night Shyamalan's appeal was already losing momentum... It's true that the man famous for his "twists" featured a game-changing moment that many found laughable, but the film's actual quality is more... complicated than that.

Story: Aliens come to earth and everything goes dark and screwy, although most of the roles act like they're on Xanax. We follow the lives of a troubled Pennsylvania farming family as things get: odd, a little spooky, then weird, then scary, then scarier, then incredibly worrying, then scary, then really quietly weird for a while until it gets first scary, then terrifying, and so on; throughout, there are little pauses that are informative, endearing, dull, odd, and so on.

If you're willing to ignore some issues - my frequent dislike of Joaquin Phoenix, a "twist" that threatens to overwhelm the story - you'll be surprised at how well the movie can handle the build and release of tension. The invasion itself is nifty, and I like the way the characters find out about the aliens, who are really creepy. I jumped from at least one scare in this picture, so maybe I feel a need to be as kind as possible to MNS?

Unfortunately, a lot of the facts surrounding the aliens are really sketchy/dumb - there's a general rule that everything artistic works better when it's shown, not told. That goes triple here, so I guess that's no compliment to the writing or script. I have to point out that Joaquin is very stiff here; it's as if the pic is suggesting he has an official "problem." The pace truly is slow, but it envelops the narrative so well that it mostly works.

I can't blame the masses that despise and mock this odd take on a War of the Worlds scenario, in spite of its cool (but simple) score, and the general originality of its setting and progression. But I wonder at the reactions, and whether people really didn't notice the thing that I liked, even if it might seem corny: that the "twist" was in a defeated man who questions life, then suddenly gets answers at the time that he really needs them most. There's also the weird subtext that the ETs are after our kiddies, since they're mostly seen with/near kids. I couldn't suggest "Signs without a heavy warning, but it can/could be an entertaining movie.

Last Man Standing
A depressingly incomplete hyper-action extravaganza. The skilled Walter Hill directs his "1930 Prohibition Texas" version of Yojimbo. Bruce Willis is John Smith, a mysterious badass (go figure). It's "Bruce as Bruce" here, so he looks cool even though he seems annoyed or weary at anything, right up to tying his shoes.

As the film starts, John drives into a small town that only has: (a) two rival gangs and (b) one neutral bar/inn. His bad luck seems to be the result of being on the run, but he feels he can't just leave. Smith is also so damn good at what he does that he easily wows the locals, who look to use him to win their little mob war. Just like in Kurosawa's classic, one master-level warrior bumbles into a pair of villains in stalemate, then decides to wipe out both of them.

Movie Review Quickies, Part IV - Halloween Edition

My late Halloween entry skims through Suspiria, Scream, Final Destination, Halloween, From Beyond, and Saw... It's a last little grasp at the holiday - and, for the next spell, scary movies. I actually don't watch horror often, outside of the rare mood or the great Pagan holiday. But I think a good scare-fest is a truly beautiful creation. Many of us have been terrified in real life, and I think we'd agree that it's better to be afraid of something on a screen. And you can still find roles and exciting sequences that are every bit as impressive, inventive, or character-heavy as any drama or comedy... I chose a small stable of solid pictures.

Suspiria

This film does not contain stupid voiceovers or repeating the word "Suspiria."

This Dario Argento classic is on Netflix Instant Viewing, a surprise since the rest of their genre selection is mostly junk. I feel sad that "Suspiria" just doesn't feel as great as when I was 19, or even 23.

Story: A pretty young American is entering into a famous European ballet academy... On the same stormy night that a furious double-murder leaves a mess in 4 rooms of a local apartment building. I guess in order to survive, the new student better stay on her toes (...Sorry) The pic is still beautiful, still fun, with skilled and inventive use of camera-work and color…

It hasn't lost much over the years, at least insofar as the violence remains jarring, cruel. The ideas are neat and the visuals are fine, so it's an easy film to like. Nice appearance by a young Udo Kier, too. The biggest victims of age here are the flaws in story and dialogue, which seem greater and more problematic now. Large bits of exposition (aka infodumps) are awkward, tho I guess it makes sense that the narrative is a bit like a fever dream. At least it's a pretty, entertaining fever dream, full of black magic…

Scream

If you haven't seen this yet, DON'T watch the trailer. See the movie first.

Things get bloody in a small California town full of good-looking people. Like every secluded spot, personal feuds and problems lurk beneath the pretty, quiet exterior. Soon, no one knows when or if violence is going to break out. Or even why. I would normally do this flick as a full review, and I still might...

"Cold Prey" - More Scandinavian Terror

Netflix has given me the chance to indulge in foreign films of all sorts. While packing my queue with classic arthouse flicks by Bertolucci and Fellini, I decided to follow the solid buzz around this Norwegian movie. Watching too much of anything can become a problem, and so we come to "Cold Prey" (2006)...

An opening montage shows us a scared child with an odd birthmark on his face. He's running through snow, terrified. Suddenly, something jumps out at him. Newspapers show a photo of the child and his parents, exclaiming the tragedy of a missing kid. After the credits, we're introduced to one of the most standard scenes in horror: a group of young people in a car. They're promiscuous, they're adventurous, and most of them are photogenic. They're on a skiing holiday, and all the talk is about sex. There also a ton tension between the couple in the front.

Soon, our young people have decided to hit some slopes before they reach the resort. Someone injures their leg (horror films are built on leg injuries, aren't they?), and our crew decide to seek shelter at a nearby lodge. The place is abandoned (of course!) but no signs are posted, and they'll be safe for the night. Being marginally smart, they explore most of the resort. They find food, liquor, a burned room, and a glass case missing its axe. And, naturally, they ignore those last two points; they set themselves up with drinks and get on about their business without a care in the world. Tragedy ensues.

"Color of Night" - Yeah Bruce Willis made a skinemax flick

This 1994 theater release was missed by many, panned by the rest. To my great fortune, cable showed me what I'd likely pass up. This is silly and insane and so much fun! The trailer is here, but no embed, so please enjoy this scene:

 

Cinema's best one-cam two-shot ever. But Bruce is a dull date.

Bruce Willis plays Bill Capa, a New York City shrink ("Hi, Bill!"). His last patient, severely messed-up, jumps out his office window mid-session. He'd just confronted her problems directly, if a little too strongly; as Bill stares down at her body, the blood pooling on the street around her becomes grey.

So in a poetically cruel turn, the psychologist now has a distinct mental problem - he no longer sees the color red. Under such obvious strain, what's a faithless therapist do? He can run off to LA.

Doc Capa bails, flies out to see his best friend, Bob Moore (Scott Bakula). This isn't running away, tho: Bob's also a shrink, and he knows Bill well enough to get through to him. Moore's also gotten quite successful, so hopefully his positivity will rub off, right?

“Haute Tension” (aka “High Tension”) – France gives us something close to Torture-Porn

“High Tension” (2003) was on my radar for a long time. This French horror flick was so universally praised that I was destined to watch it. I can understand fully why it received so much acclaim. Sadly, it brought me no joy.

The plot: a French girl drives with her best friend, bound for her parent's idyllic country home; then everything goes to hell (figuratively).

What does this movie promise? Heavy bouts of ultra-violence, atmosphere, great direction, and a fairly decent premise. It delivers on all these things – particularly the ultra-violence, if that’s what you’re looking for. Parts of this film are very well done; many other important aspects, however, stink.

"Mute Witness" - Lookin' for a good thriller?

Billy, a mute make-up artist, is with an American movie crew in Moscow. One night, she's locked inside the studio they've rented. She soon finds a small, active film set, and blushes: they're filming porn! Yet Billy sees horror in an actress' eyes as her co-star plays rough, then draws a knife. Billy's sure that she saw a real murder, and that she's in danger - she can't scream, but she can still make noise.

Long ago, I'd jump on any excuse to visit the Angelika, an arthouse theater in the Village. The trailers for this movie seemed exciting and tense, playing nicely with the sound design. So began my happy little relationship with this small-budget piece. What a pleasant surprise!