The Lego Movie Review

Emmet (voiced by Chris Pratt), the protagonist of the The Lego Movie, lives in an incredibly artificial world. You see, he's a Lego minifigure, and his life consists of following the Instructions in order to help construct a number of Lego buildings. He cheerfully lives out his monotonous life of rule-following until the fateful day that it is revealed that he is The Special--a chosen one destined to free the world from the evil clutches of Lord Business (Will Ferrell).

As The Special, Emmet is part of a fraternity of Master Builders--rule-breakers who don't follow the Instructions, and are therefore only bound by their imagination. This group consists of licensed minifigures--including the likes of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Gandalf, and Abraham Lincoln--as well as some characters created for the movie, such as Emmet's foil/love interest, Wildstyle (Elizabeth Banks) and the wizard Vitruvius (Morgan Freeman, who needs to get some sort of "Best Self-Parody" award).

Lord Business's conflict with the Master Builders centers around the fact that he has built a perfect set of theme Lego worlds where everything is placed just so, according to the Instructions. He wants to keep people from "messing with his stuff." He's going to unleash a frightening superweapon to ensure that nothing in the world ever deviates from the Instructions again.

Big Hero 6 Review - Sooooo Funny

Big Hero 6 was unexpected viewing for me and my friends. We went out to see Whiplash, only to find that many others had the same idea over the sleepy holiday weekend. Our showing was sold out, and we didn't know what to do. As we looked up movie times, suddenly one voice said, "Big Hero 6?! That's supposed to rock! It's starting in 10 minutes!"

As we walked to the other theater nearby, all I could think was (a) that my go-to review site had given it a mediocre grade (a B- is mediocre for this kind of film) and (b) that it didn't really matter - I would just go and try to enjoy a movie in good company. A transit problem had me walk almost two miles home after a sleepless night.

My expectations were torn apart. Quickly, too.

Big Hero 6 tells a story set in some semi-futuristic world where high technology is readily available, people hold underground (and illegal?) robot battles, and the town featured in the movie is called San Fransokyo. We begin where one of those robotic gladiator matches is taking place. Hiro, an undersized kid, steps in and tries to fumble his way through a match... And after five minutes everything goes to hell.

Movie Review Quickies XIV: Overdue Edition

For MRQIV, I decided to tackle 7 films that I've promised to review here at some point or another. The lessened stakes allow me to at least express some thoughts on these pictures without having each review become a big deal.

At least two of these movies will receive a Double Dip treatment at some point in the future, but I do make good on my claims, whenever I can. And I can't do that unless I just suck it up and actually get these reviews out. So today's offerings are: Better Off Dead, Primer, Hot Fuzz, The Girl Who Played with Fire, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, The Incredibles, and Tucker & Dale vs. Evil.

Better Off Dead

Make no mistake, Better Off Dead is not just some piece of 1980's nostalgia, it's among the best comedies that I have ever seen, and I am grateful for this film's mere existence. When I mentioned Savage Steve Holland's masterwork here this February, I knew it would come up here at least a few more times.

BOD tells the story of Lane Meyer, a high school teen who's having the worst day of his life. It's nearly Christmas, and his girlfriend just dropped him like a bad habit. He pleads with her to stay, yet the bigshot jerk on the ski team has already snatched her up. He's consistently behind in his classes, and his job is both embarrassing and insulting. Also, his treasured car is now a total junker. It's all so unhappy - and so hopeless - that Lane has decided to kill himself... But every time he tries, he screws it up.

What's great about Better Off Dead is that it's one of the funniest black comedies you will ever see. Teen suicide is no laughing matter, but the filmmakers ease the pathos by packing the film with every kind of comedy out there: slapstick, satire, word play... My favorite element of this picture, though, is its sheer absurdity.

Early on, Lane's 12 y/o brother receives a book on how to pick up chicks, and you later see his room full of gorgeous women, in violation of logic, universal morality, and state laws. The paper boy is willing to hunt people down because of an overdue $2 debt. Everyone from teachers to the mail man thinks that it's okay to ask Meyer if they mind them asking his ex out.

Throughout it all, Better Off Dead is an insanely-funny, terribly-charming watch. Young Cusack is very charismatic as the leading sad sack, the crazy locals that make up the ensemble cast are endlessly entertaining, and the story is excellent. I could watch a dozen movies like this. Or I could watch BoD a dozen times (and I probably have).

The Castle of Cagliostro Review - Can you pronounce "Wow"?

Congrats if you're not American: you probably know Lupin, the fictional thief. France knows him, because Maurice LeBlanc's character is basically their Sherlock Holmes. In Japan, Lupin III is an old, popular anime/manga/movie franchise. Better still, the 2nd Lupin film is by Hayao Miyazaki, a master of the smart, fun and beautiful ride.

I won't write it all again - I love that guy; not like "more than a friend," but... He's a Japanese Roald Dahl, in animated format. He's focused on story, and delivers stunning visuals. What Pixar is now, Miyazaki has always been.

I don't cover him too often, since he's made 10 films. A convenient choice, The Castle of Cagliostro is so upbeat and energetic that the plots don't matter much. It's no flaw - the story progresses so quickly that you just take it as it comes. Then the voice actors and animators ground it all so nicely, you'll just flow with a story that breezes by you.

Wait, I'm sorry, I should front-load my thoughts instead of saving them for the end: F my review. This movie is free to watch on youtube right now, so just go there. Pause it, let a few minutes load, and read my review in the meantime. You'll be sold within the first 10 minutes, I guarantee, and you won't believe it's 33 years old.

Then come back here and comment like mad.

Anyway, on to storytime: Lupin III is the grandson of the French Wayne Gretzky of thieves. He's just broken out of a casino with a massive haul, only to realize he's stolen fake money! Tossing it all makes for a nice diversion, but he wants to find out how he got duped. You have to love a thief who wants to steal the right cash.

Howl's Moving Castle - Animated Perfection

Let me kick this off by stating: you'll see that a lot of my reviews have carefully-placed, nice pictures, usually with captions beneath. I'm skipping that this time out - not from laziness, just because I sometimes like going left when I should go right. \English and Japanese trailers only this time, unless convinced otherwise. Now...

Japanese writer-director Hayao Miyazaki has an enviable career. His animated movies are all beautiful, with excellent scores and inventive plots. His Studio Ghibli, much like Pixar, often creates mature tales within the confines of kid's stories. Very rarely does HM produce something "so-so" or mediocre. Nearly every work is dazzling, and each one is a financial blockbuster. 

Which brings us to 2004 and "Howl's Moving Castle." I feel a bit guilty - it's the only Miyazaki I haven't watched in the original language. I got a 7-movie set of Hayao's work, but "HMC" wasn't part of it. I caught the film on cable and was completely floored. I may rag on American studios for over-dubbing in English, but Disney chose wisely with Christian Bale, Emily Mortimer, and Billy Crystal providing the voiceovers.

"Howl's" begins in what looks like a fantastical 19th Century European town. There are bakeries, hat stores, dirigibles, and big squares with uniformed troops and civilians wearing suits and gowns. Sophie, the protagonist, takes an alley shortcut during a quick walk, then is accosted by two repulsive soldiers. A man rescues her from them, but a widely-feared witch (and her blob monster?!) comes looking for her savior. The aptly-named Witch of the Waste curses Sophie out of spite.

Dark Knight Facebook, Ipad Netflix, NYC's Free Korean Anime, & Dreamworks 2011-14 Schedule

So I just have a little string of news to bring to your attention. I wanted to post this yesterday, but adding my "Rebecca" post was already overdue.

So on the one hand, we have news that Warner Bros. has a deal with Facebook to stream WB movies on FB. Honestly, I heard about this thru The AV Club (again). As always, much of the news I highlight came through them first. They describe the situation neatly, so feel free to read about it on their site.

What I will repeat/condense flat-out: it's paid with "Facebook dollars," which can be converted from real dollars; it's a WB application on FB, not FB software. Deadline also put out the news, but they focused on the stock market dip Netflix suffered after the announcement. I don't know why.

As The AV Club's revered Scott Tobias pointed out, the first Warner picture available will be "The Dark Knight," so it's clear they're going for the jugular off the bat. Their choice is inspired, of course - I'm sure The Joker would approve -  as it's a great movie that I loved to pieces (if less than Batman Begins).

So, as I said 2 weeks ago, let the Rental Wars begin! [Although in this case, it already did.] Redbox will be in the game soon enough, and I'm sure Apple will be in the position of either competing directly via ITunes, or just reaping tons of indirect (and vapid) profits by providing the hardware for all this Streaming.

It's not even just an "I told you so." This Monday, Netflix announced they're supporting the IPad more than ever. They do mention the IPhone too, but clearly their effort is to quickly gain sway over the growing Internet Tablet market - which still pretty much means "the IPad." Heaven help me, Netflix isn't just supporting Safari up the wazoo, they're supporting Mobile Safari up the wazoo. Can they also ditch Microsoft Silverlight at some point?

Hipster Ariel, the Best Internet Meme

I want this in a locket around my neck.

And then I found that picture, and I somehow felt complete. As a terse dissection of modern fads, it's a champ. As a hysterical zinger, it's a freaking charm.

I will return to some internet memes, perhaps even ones I've mentioned before. But this is surely my favorite. I thank the genius who started Hipster Ariel at tumblr. Hell, I even thank the reposters over at Buzzfeed.

The angsty-yet-earnest look, the glasses, the attitude: it's just perfect.

It's like "Velma" from "Scooby Doo" became hot and rebelliously super-pretentious. How many people have you met that fit this bill?

I've never been the biggest fan of internet memes. They're too stupid, usually, to even be especially funny. It's like downing a Hostess devil dog: sure, chocolate and cream! But you might as well get something really nice out of those calories, and it's not all that special.

Spirited Away is Perfect

You're 10 years old. Your parents have been captured, leaving you stranded among monsters. And your best hope at surviving is working in a demonic bath-house. So begins a perfect film, 2001's "Spirited Away."

Magic? Or psychotic break?

I recently promised I would review this pic; I didn't expect to follow through so soon, but it's "5 Ones Day," so why not. And believe me, "Spirited Away" is an easy example of "movie magic." Everything about it - the story it tells, the visuals, the score - is film-making at its very best.

Every 3-4 years, Japanese genius Hayao Miyazaki releases another animated-yet-grown-up fairytale. Critical and commercial success (if not always in the US) always follow; the differences are in story and in G- vs PG-rating. The short version this time: a young girl is up-rooted from her home town, then must fight to save her family from a magical world. And it's probably bad for kids 5-6 and under.

Movie Review Quickies, Part III

This latest batch of quickies tries to offer a bit of variety - as much as possible without actually straining my still-healing eye. The line-up is: The Man With One Red Shoe, The Godfather 3, Frantic, The Edge, I Am Legend, One Fine Day, Ratatouille, and Transformers. Enjoy.

I think this is Art Deco. No wait, her hair is Art Nouveau!

The Man with One Red Shoe
A fun (but stupid) vehicle for a pre-guaranteed-success Tom Hanks. Two US Intelligence Execs are out to burn each other; the smarter one decides to pretend a random violinist (Hanks) is his top agent, just to distract the dumber one. Soon the dumber one's team is destroying his life, and he may die soon. Also, his best friend's wife is trying to sleep with him!

When I watch a movie like this, I really miss the energy of Hanks' early comedies. If you don't find it funny or charming, you'll probably hate it. If you do enjoy this film, you'll have to thank the impressive cast - Dabney Coleman, Charles Durning, Edward Hermann, Jim Belushi, Carrie Fisher, and Daryll Hannah - all do good work.

Some of the jokes may not work for you, but (probably) enough will… I feel foolish because I still haven't seen the French film this was based on.

When the end comes, it will come with hammy, poor acting, my son...

Godfather 3
A modest train-wreck of a movie. The famous Corleone family inches toward the late 90's, and Al Pacino CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE, AND YOU NOTICE BECAUSE NOW HE YELLS INSTEAD OF ACTING. Funny, Michael was usually so quiet.

Several characters don't feel right in this long picture - even when they're fine actors like Andy Garcia. Coppola's daughter never should have appeared in this (the audience openly jeered in unison at one point). At least it looks pretty... I can't tell if the director used too much or too little from the prior "G" films.

Still, there's an incredible adherence to "themes" - no, I'm sorry - THEMES in "G3." You get the feeling that someone can run out of ideas and just call it motif, though. The guy who loudly brays like a donkey (it gives me a chill) is the most annoying character in this film (and possibly film history?). This experience was such an amazing disappointment, I don't even know if I can judge it fairly.

Movie Review Quickies, Part II

Part II offers a diverse batch of reviews: Beowulf, Clerks II, The Good German, Michael Clayton, Eastern Promises, WALL-E, Kung Fu Hustle, To Live and Die in L.A., and C.H.U.D. I could've been stingy, but I want to make amends for two weeks of silence. Anyway, if you're reading this, you deserve pleasant surprises. Enjoy.

"Vulfie," for short.

Beowulf
Many folks clamor to treat animation the same as "real movies." This holds up best with Pixar's work; their dedication to story and character is unrivaled. "Beowulf" was supposed to kick off the same possibilities for pure CGI. Since the studios bet on a violent classic, audiences got an almost-live-action-cartoon. Presumably this would capitalize off that great overlap in moviegoer demographics: 11 year old boys and Comp. Lit. students.

Actually, they were banking off the success of that lousy almost-live-action-cartoon, "300." This story has survived for a long time because it is thrilling and creepy and classic (in every sense); it is of a piece with any mythological tale you can recall. In practice, it was fairly easy to ignore because the emotional content matched the average episode of "GI Joe."

The effects work was amazing - I can understand Angelina Jolie's slight embarrassment, 'cause it looks like her body was directly scanned into a computer. But some nice post-modern writing (thanks for doing what you could, Neil Gaiman) can't give this experience enough depth or emotion.

Screw Rosario Dawson on a prep station? Disgusting! You do it up against the fridge...

Clerks II
A little good, but mostly bad. I think my radar is pretty keen at detecting intended awfulness. Sadly, I don't think that's what Kevin Smith was aiming for - at least, not for the overall film.

The dance sequence stands out as a particularly ill-conceived part of the picture. I may have a seizure the next time I see a guy tweak his nipples because that's supposed to be funny. And, for my money, I didn't like the early salvo which has our three leads discussing the do's and don'ts of a certain unusual sex act.

Other parts of Smith's humor worked as usual. Setting the story at a fast-food joint from "Dogma" was excellent - but I loved the satire behind "Mooby the Cow." The call-back jokes were generally good, and I was not too annoyed/distracted by the way that this sequel adhered to the form of the original "Clerks." And yet...

"Coraline" - what "Ponyo" should've been

My review of "Ponyo" was pretty clear: I was disappointed, but understood that a great artist like Hayao Miyazaki merits leeway. HM made a pure kid's movie with little story, development, or stakes. My guess is he made a movie for really young children... "Coraline," however, was also released this year, and also billed as a kid's film. It has everything that "Ponyo" lacked.

Our eponymous hero is a smart and willful teen. Her parents are totally absorbed in her father's writing career. Moving to a new town finds Coraline bored and creeped out by her new digs. But the house has a secret room (of course) that leads to a parallel world - one in which everything is slightly wrong. She meets duplicates of her parents, and they recognize her as their child. They're nearly the same, save that these parents dote on Coraline - and their eyes are buttons. For all the kindness and attention she receives, this new world doesn't seem like a nice place to live...

"Ponyo" Review - For once, Hayao Miyazaki stumbles

I love every thing I've seen from Hayao Miyazaki. So I'm sad to say that his latest film, "Ponyo," was disappointing. In short, it was made for young children, and my enjoyment of Studio Ghibli's effort was killed by expectations and age.

"Ponyo" begins underwater. We see an astounding array of sea life, tended by a man who must have magical powers. One little creature with a fish body and a sorta-human face is a bit too inquisitive. It sneaks out and is dragged off by a current, drawn to the beach. It's cute as all get-out.

A young boy living by a cliff sees it when it's gotten in trouble and saves it. After this, strange things begin to happen - the growing creature makes home life entertaining, but the waters outside seem troubled. Childlike wonder and roaring tides follow. Also, insane weather phenomena.