Question for the Week of Mar 17-23: Worst Bad Guy Intro

What's the worst villain intro you can think of?

Hahaha, there are few things as painfully fun as beating up on something that sucks. Well, I won't give you one villain intro, I will give you four! (plus one protagonist/good guy)

The answer comes courtesy of the 1997 Simon West film, Con Air. And because both the intro and this moment truly stink, I will give it to you without commentary:

Of course, it only gets worse when you find out why John Malkovich's character is called Cyrus "the Virus." I meant to make it the sole answer for today's question, but I couldn't find the clip anywhere. Since the actual dialogue is impossible to find in a video, I'll just write it out - after someone asks someone else if they know how Cyrus got his nickname and gets silence:

because he's a plague upon humanity!

I s--t you not. Even in the world of bad action movie dialogue, these words truly stand out. As atrociously over-written and stupid.

And, to put it all in context, here's one last clip from Con Air. It's JM overacting like it might win him an Oscar, and I want you all to join me in shedding a tear for the genius thespian who excelled as the male lead in Dangerous Liaisons:

Oh, god, so much pain.