I could go on and on with set up: an old friend found this track and played it for me; it's insanely bad; I have no idea why anyone wanted, much less recorded, this... I could get into all that and really make a story of it.
But why bother? In this case, we do not come to praise Caesar, but to bury him. And, here, with no honors. Let the carrion eaters and the dogs feast upon this musical abomination!
Long story short, someone got Sean Connery to recite, plain-spoken-style, the lyrics to the Beatles' "In My Life." Aside from the overall sucktitude of the thing, there is the fact that the odd pauses here and there make me want to chime in with snarky lines. Also, the casual rape/murder of a lovely, lovely song. I kinda want to give this post the Sexual Violence tag, because it's earned it.
And yet commentary is not truly necessary at all, because the recording itself represents nothing less than a trainwreck. I don't need to walk you through what you'll experience yourself.
I'm thankful that you suffered through this with me, friends. I just hope it had the same effect on you that it did when I first heard it - bringing me to my knees with more laughter than pain.