Question for the Week of Dec 17-23: What DVD Don't I Have and Really Want?

What DVD do I lack? Or, more accurately - not simply, "don't possess," but "don't possess, and it genuinely bothered me."

I know the answer to this from years ago. I had been hunting a few pix down in the early 00's, and it was crazy how no amount effort would produce more than a bunch of dead-ends. And, no, I'm not making holiday gift suggestions to anyone who knows me....

For one thing, I don't have a copy of Bad Taste. Any regular reader knows how much I love that film - enough that I don't need to own it for a while. I can get it whenever I want to, I'm not gonna watch it over and over, and I'm not going to play it for all my friends - although it would make for a great movie party. I can wait a good while before picking it up... 

The runner-up has to be John Woo's The Killer, another pic you already know I love. I have a VHS copy (yes, really, and it's my brother's, so...), but the disc was unavailable for a decade. I think the DVD was released twice - nor is it a movie you'd buy, then sell off later. If you bought The Killer, you're hanging on to it...

So not only did the normal original run sell out, but Criterion gave it their special treatment, with a much-needed improvement in the video quality and subtitles. Seriously, I've seen it at Asian film festivals on a big screen, and 1/10th of the dialogue is just odd stuff that makes you wonder if it's an experimental film... 

When I was looking for this disc, in 2002 and 2003, it wasn't available anywhere, and even Ebay was a miss. So I looked it up last month and was blown away to see that it's available! And at a good price! But if you want to understand how hard it is to buy the quality version of the film, just look at the image and see how much the Criterion edition costs on Amazon.

$50 used, $131 for a new copy. Daaaaaaaamn.

For all this, John Woo's massive contribution to film isn't what I miss not having the most, especially now that I can get the copy will have the original crappy subtitles in 3 days if I order before 5PM. I can live without having it at my fingertips, especially with a $50 price tag...

The picture that I want and can't get easily and still want though I won't get it yet is Jackie Chan's Drunken Master II. Hands down, no contest...  That movie has its flaws, but it is exciting and fun and funny as hell, and - I had a friend who thought the idea of a kung fu film was kind of silly, but 5 minutes of seeing the sort of acrobatic insanity that Chan excels at was enough to win her over.

The problem is that the only available version is the Disney release, which has no original language options, as well as certain other differences. The biggest, perhaps: Team Mouse changed the ending because it was offensive and made it seem like Jackie was being insensitive to the mentally disabled (sigh, he was unwisely trying to be silly).

Honestly, I just can't have a copy that has a different soundtrack - and is in English, for some reason. Once you start messing with the audio track, it changes the whole feel of a picture - background noise can be altered, you don't get the "real" feeling of the movie. DMII is also a pic I saw at an Asian film fest (I went to many). I can't go backwards, I gotta move forwards.

I still recall watching Drunken Master II, a relentless masterpiece of action and humor. I loved every second of it. I don't want to buy bootlegs, so that makes DMII my Holy Grail DVD. Many friends have told me to just head to Chinatown, where a hopefully not-too-pirated copy should be readily on hand. I just lack the time now...

And, honestly, I still don't think I'd race out to get it, knowing I might end up with a bad transfer once I get home. Even a new printing of the pic wouldn't be a "must preorder" unless I thought it would sell out and go at an insane price, like The Killer. And if I did buy it, I might just stash the disc until I could watch it with some good company. No matter what, there are better things I can be doing with my time and money than adding to my film collection, right?...